I must start by saying I love the line callouts. So helpful, since both I and the hubby are pretty new at this whole writing gig, and the specific feedback is great. (And I think you'll be able to guess from the comments which parts of this one I wrote, and which ones are mr. toysdream.)
((screams)) Oh! Good one. Total surprise.
Hee. Gotcha.
I love this bit.
So does the hubby. He always laughs re-reading that.
Aaaagh! More! Sorry all this wasn't very coherent, but I did like this section quite a bit.
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Date: 2004-03-22 06:53 pm (UTC)((screams)) Oh! Good one. Total surprise.
Hee. Gotcha.
I love this bit.
So does the hubby. He always laughs re-reading that.
Aaaagh! More!
Sorry all this wasn't very coherent, but I did like this section quite a bit.
Wait 'til you see the next one. Heh heh heh.