Thanks so much for this long comment - working on this has been kind of an emotional committment for me, and possibly the most ambitious thing I've ever attempted, especially since it started out so light (or at least that was the intention) and promptly started going so dark. Buffy in S6 was in a dark place, and I found out that nothing short of completely leaving canon can really change that.
But without that canon - and like you, I've had severe problems coping with the version of Buffy's character we were left with - I wanted to try to get inside her head in a way that would help me understand her better. That was, I think, my main motive for wanting to do this story, and I think in going forward from here, I may have to project ahead a bit, deal with Buffy's and Spike's future, whose outcome we already know. And in that light, I thought this comment of yours was particulary interesting:
t struck me too, that your story shows how a person (Buffy) can be so weighed down with baggage that they are not reacting in the here-and-now at all -- they are reacting to a whole set of prejudices/rigid frames of reference, that bear no relationship to how the other person is behaving right now.
This was something I was really trying to get to - that both of them are behaving in ways that compensate for what they think the other wants. It's obvious on Spike, since his adjustments are right there on the surface, but less so with Buffy, who holds everything inside.
I can deal... with Buffy being dark -- but I can't deal with the show not dealing with her darkness properly. All her abusive behaviour in season 6, and her using behaviour in season 7... no apologies, no grappling with her issues. Still avoiding, repressing, using, right to the end. And I want to like her. I'm very stuck on that issue.
We are very much on the same page here. Whereas I can see and somewhat agree with those who saw a love story happening in S7, I find it hard to get past the fact that it's not the love story that I wanted to see. I find S7 a tragedy, not an uplifting tale - the Buffy we were left with I don't feel solved her issues at all, but just had them smoothed over for her by others. (Which is why you're also unlikely to see me write a post-series Buffy/Spike pairing.)
But like you, I do want to like her... I just may have to fast-forward a bit to get to that place.
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Date: 2004-09-14 06:24 pm (UTC)But without that canon - and like you, I've had severe problems coping with the version of Buffy's character we were left with - I wanted to try to get inside her head in a way that would help me understand her better. That was, I think, my main motive for wanting to do this story, and I think in going forward from here, I may have to project ahead a bit, deal with Buffy's and Spike's future, whose outcome we already know. And in that light, I thought this comment of yours was particulary interesting:
t struck me too, that your story shows how a person (Buffy) can be so weighed down with baggage that they are not reacting in the here-and-now at all -- they are reacting to a whole set of prejudices/rigid frames of reference, that bear no relationship to how the other person is behaving right now.
This was something I was really trying to get to - that both of them are behaving in ways that compensate for what they think the other wants. It's obvious on Spike, since his adjustments are right there on the surface, but less so with Buffy, who holds everything inside.
I can deal... with Buffy being dark -- but I can't deal with the show not dealing with her darkness properly. All her abusive behaviour in season 6, and her using behaviour in season 7... no apologies, no grappling with her issues. Still avoiding, repressing, using, right to the end. And I want to like her. I'm very stuck on that issue.
We are very much on the same page here. Whereas I can see and somewhat agree with those who saw a love story happening in S7, I find it hard to get past the fact that it's not the love story that I wanted to see. I find S7 a tragedy, not an uplifting tale - the Buffy we were left with I don't feel solved her issues at all, but just had them smoothed over for her by others. (Which is why you're also unlikely to see me write a post-series Buffy/Spike pairing.)
But like you, I do want to like her... I just may have to fast-forward a bit to get to that place.