Hurrah! Light bulb moment! She doesn't know him, and it's about time she realised!
Y'know the weird thing is, I think she does know Angel better than she realizes. They both have a similar tendency to get all remote and professional and withdraw from people when things are dire - it's the loss of the personal connection that she's missing, and I think that's more a case of Buffy's habit of viewing things as being about her. Witness "Chosen," in which she never really spares a thought as to what's been going on in Angel's life, but instead launches into a big spiel about her own. But more on that maybe later...
don't think she's understood how important it is for him to have something to believe in - a mission. And that currently he trusts the mission more than he trusts that she loves him, as he loves her.
That's definitely what I was aiming for here, and one of the reasons why I thought it was so important to redo this chapter - the first version was too much about the two of them, how they related to each other, and I wanted more focus on them as individuals, establish why their priorities may not, at this point in time, perfectly match up.
I really liked that line - the anger and frustration and the fact that she does love him, but just has such a problem trying to get this across. And this of course ties in with what I said above. And she really, really needs to sit down and think about what this means for her and what she's going to do with her life.
I have to give Toys credit for helping me with that line. : ) But yeah, I was pretty happy with it too. There just seemed to be something right about that, Buffy angry and shouting and almost tantrum-y about saying "I love you." For some reason, that felt in keeping with the spirit of conflict in S/B.
Thanks so much for all the long ruminations. It just makes me squeal with pleasure to be able to discuss.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-19 12:52 am (UTC)Y'know the weird thing is, I think she does know Angel better than she realizes. They both have a similar tendency to get all remote and professional and withdraw from people when things are dire - it's the loss of the personal connection that she's missing, and I think that's more a case of Buffy's habit of viewing things as being about her. Witness "Chosen," in which she never really spares a thought as to what's been going on in Angel's life, but instead launches into a big spiel about her own. But more on that maybe later...
don't think she's understood how important it is for him to have something to believe in - a mission. And that currently he trusts the mission more than he trusts that she loves him, as he loves her.
That's definitely what I was aiming for here, and one of the reasons why I thought it was so important to redo this chapter - the first version was too much about the two of them, how they related to each other, and I wanted more focus on them as individuals, establish why their priorities may not, at this point in time, perfectly match up.
I really liked that line - the anger and frustration and the fact that she does love him, but just has such a problem trying to get this across. And this of course ties in with what I said above. And she really, really needs to sit down and think about what this means for her and what she's going to do with her life.
I have to give Toys credit for helping me with that line. : ) But yeah, I was pretty happy with it too. There just seemed to be something right about that, Buffy angry and shouting and almost tantrum-y about saying "I love you." For some reason, that felt in keeping with the spirit of conflict in S/B.
Thanks so much for all the long ruminations. It just makes me squeal with pleasure to be able to discuss.