Jack the Giant Killer, Part 4

[thedeadlyhook]

Oh, yeah, I'm on fire, baby. If all goes well, I may even get this done today. But not in this chapter. There's still more to come.

At any rate, more of Jack the Giant Killer, where our heroes are stuck in the arctic north facing off against a frost giant. And by the way... did the last part seem too treacly to be believeable? Too schmoopy to be real? Guess what - it was.

Disclaimer, Summary: See Part 1.
Rating: for this part, not much. G, maybe.



__________

Of course it didn't quite happen that way.

Not in any real sense. Although in Buffy's mind, as she stood there watching the giant retreat through the open door, the scenario played out. Fully and completely - she could see everything, her accusations, his responses. Confrontation and forgiveness. Grievances aired, and then understanding. Meant a lot to me. It's the thought that counts.

Heartfelt and soft and true.

In reality, though, she just pressed her lips together tightly once the giant had gone from the room. Stalked around the perimeter scavenging new rubbish to rebuild the fire, or any possible tool they could use.

For his part, Spike seemed more than a little cantankerous himself--muttering and rustling, irritably trying to find a comfortable position.

The two of them continued in this vein for some time. Silent. Practically ignoring each other.

Buffy added some more items to her cache of discoveries. She'd uncovered two additional sources of alcohol--another modern bottle of vodka, and something of a vintage so old that Spike whistled when he saw it.

"Guess our hostess wasn't kidding about having been at this for awhile," he commented when she held out the bottle to him, vamping out and pulling the cork with his teeth. "Can only hope this stuff gets stronger with age," he coughed, after a long pull at the contents that caused him to make an amusing 'blech' face.

She'd have smiled at that sight if she wasn't still so angry.

But she was, so she kept ignoring him, bristling. Every nerve crackling with anger, with hopeless, fearful betrayal. You really want to kill yourself that much, you can't even bother to fight for me?

She stared at the litter around her, the piles of artifacts. The few weapons she'd found were mostly useless--rusted knives and swords, an antique pistol long since turned into a corroded mess.

"How long?" she blurted, her mind working hard on their most immediate problem. Call of the Wild. Survival of the fittest. Survival.

"What, that this has been aging? Longer than I have, that's for sure."

"No, the giant. How long would you say she's been doing this?"

He shrugged, hugged the bottle to his chest like a storybook illustration of a drunken pirate. "Legends go back to the origins of humanity."

"So thousands of years."

"Hundreds for the short estimate. Tale-tellers do like to exaggerate. Why?"

"There's not enough bones here." Buffy walked alongside the rows of piled refuse like a shopper at a swap meet. "Even counting the animal bones. And how could you feed a giant of her size and her baby on just a couple of hikers a year, anyway?"

"Maybe they store energy in the fat. You know, like arctic animals--did you know that male penguins can go for months without eating?"

She shot him a look.

"What?" he shot back, defensive. "Sometimes I watch the nature shows."

"Like all good badasses," she replied mockingly.

"Hey! You try being cooped up during the day for a century, see what you'll do for novelty."

Buffy changed the subject. "Can we get back to the giant? Why did she just leave?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "What's gotten up your skirt all of a sudden?"

"Nothing. I'm just trying to survive here. That okay with you?"

"Sure." His brow knitted in confusion. "Sign me up for survival. But--"

"So, why?"

"Probably wasn't going according to her plan." He was starting to sound annoyed now too, and waved a hand at the evidence all around them, in bones. "We're supposed to lose, you know."

"You're saying we were winning?"

"Yeah, that, or she couldn't figure out how to cheat us. Like I told you, higher demons, higher purpose." He explained with the aggressive air of someone talking to the terminally stupid. "They want you to have a hand in damning yourself. That's what really gets their rocks off. That makes them all smiles, tricking the innocent into signing up for hell."

"So what did it want us to do?"

"I dunno, turn on each other, maybe. Take that one and let me live. Then she gets to snack on both of us and have a good laugh."

Buffy hesitated. For some reason, this idea struck her as even worse than the other option.

"So... is that why you were all, you know, 'eat me, not her'...?" she said gingerly, and was rewarded with a shocked widening of his eyes.

Then his jaw set, and he glared. "No."

Buffy fidgeted.

"Okay, that's it. What's the matter with you?"

"It's nothing."

"Oh, right, nothing, I can tell. Look, you want to get out of here alive? We're gonna have to use our heads. Not.... bloody argue with each other about who does what."

"So you really wanted to die, then?"

"What?"

"'Eat me first.' You meant that. You really wanted that to happen."

He sighed, exasperated. "Look... it's my fault we're here--"

"No, it's not."

"Uh... yeah, it is.

"No, it's not. I made you come here."

"And I let you make me, what's your point?"

"What's yours? That you should die because it's your fault?"

"No, more that you shouldn't. Christ, Buffy... I try, you know? I'm trying my damndest here to do the right--"

"The right thing." She sank to her knees. "I know. Believe me, I know." She wrapped her arms around herself.

He studied her. Let the silence tick out. Mined her expression for nuggets of truth. For clues he could then spin into gold.

"So... you don't want me to die, then," he ventured, eventually.

In answer, she just glared at him.

"Just asking." He held up a hand.

"You are so stupid sometimes," she said. "Sometimes, I think I still hate you."

"Wondered about that."

She gritted her teeth. Clamped down on an old urge to just haul off and hit him. Stupid stupid stupid. "So what else have you got? Anything that'll help us get out of this?"

He sighed, a long breath sucked in and then let out again, an exasperated sound. "Not much. Just stories I heard as a lad. About this hero who roamed the countryside, killing giants. Jack the Giant Killer."

"Imaginative name."

"Yeah, well, those were the days."

"How did he kill them? This Jack."

"Trickery, mostly. Cunning. Stealth. Strangled them in their sleep, or dug pits outside their dens and cracked their heads with a pickaxe when they fell in. That sort of thing."

"You sure had some cozy kids' stories back in your day."

"Yeah, well, supposed to teach you something about being resourceful, I think. Although later it gets a bit Harry Potter. Invisble cloak and magic sword. Then he marries the king's daughter."

She rolled her eyes. "Typical."

"Point is, I think, that you can take anything down if you put your mind to it. Just gotta figure out the right approach."

"Is this a personal hero of yours, Spike?"

He narrowed his eyes hard. "Actually, now that I think about it.... sounds quite a lot like a Slayer."

Buffy snorted. "Countryside-hopping, giant killing... could be."

"'Jack' could be short for 'Jacqueline'."

"Or Jacqueline could've been written out of history by men who didn't like the idea of a hero being a girl."

"That too."

Buffy fumed. Changed the subject back again. "You were really being overprotective in there."

"Right, I'm a chauvanist pig."

"Is that all? Just you being all guy-y?"

"Thought I told you."

"Tell me again."

"Fine. 'Cause, you know, funny thing. I happen to love you. Don't want to see you get hurt. And also, once upon a time, you called me your champion." His eyes sparked at her, bluer chips of ice in his almost blue-with-frost face. "Like that."

Buffy's whole body stiffened. It was a conscious effort on her part, a way to keep from melting, from dissolving into mist. She could never quite put those two things together, no matter how hard she tried--her admiration and awe for those feelings, the kind of love that he liked to display, my life for you, and her anger at having to deal with it. At having to decide whether or not to accept it.

She couldn't help but feel annoyed that she had to.

"I just want you to live," she said icily. "Not die. Can you handle that?"

He kept staring at her. With those narrowed, ice-chip eyes. Motionless for such a long time that Buffy began to wonder if he'd actually refrozen that way.

She'd almost started to get up to refuel the fire when his lips finally moved again, and he spoke.

"Whatever milady wants," he said.

__________

Continued in Part 5

Comments

[bogwitch.livejournal.com]

Whee! More! More!

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Hee! I'm working on Part 5 right now. It's not up to your class of horror writing, definitely not, but I'm having fun reminding myself that the giant is actually supposed to be SCARY.

[bogwitch.livejournal.com]

::blush::

[earth-vexer.livejournal.com]

ooh! Awesome. I love this. :D

"Imaginative name."
Jack the Giant Killer. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. ;)

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And... yeah, I admit that the name similarity was, uh, on my mind. : )

And it really was a favorite of mine when I was little. Go figure.

[fredsmith518.livejournal.com]

Great read as ever:)

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[herself_nyc]

Buffy's whole body stiffened. It was a conscious effort on her part, a way to keep from melting, from dissolving into mist. She could never quite put those two things together, no matter how hard she tried--her admiration and awe for those feelings, the kind of love that he liked to display, my life for you, and her anger at having to deal with it. At having to decide whether or not to accept it.

This epitomizes so beautifully one very plausible way their post NFA relationship could go. The burden of being loved doesn't get mentioned a lot but I imagine it's very real. Even when you love someone back, when there's that inequality, it's probably easier in a way to be the one who loves more. Buffy is never the one who loves more (well, perhaps with Angel.)

Their last little exchange is so cutting too. They manage to communicate a little, but it's never quite enough to make things smooth.

And I dig the exegesis on Jacqueline the Giant Killer.

[owenthurman.livejournal.com]

The burden of being loved doesn't get mentioned a lot but I imagine it's very real.

I had a partner once who wouldn't let me discuss it because this person loved me much more than I returned and didn't want it to be a burden to me. Smiled sweetly and shhhed me then offered a little kiss before it could be mentioned.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

God, just like that Meatloaf song. That's heartbreaking.

[owenthurman.livejournal.com]

Two Out of Three? Or another song?

Yeah, objectively heartbreaking. I guess.

Never looked like that from my perspective. The burden seemed bearable to me, just emotionally inconvenient. But she wanted to spare me the difficulty at whatever cost — maybe just because it was something she could do for me.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Two Out of Three, that's the one I was thinking of. And I can definitely see that as a kindness of sorts, but still... painful. From the outside.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

There's this part of me that can't even let go of my initial impression of the two of them as being ideally suited because a) they're the sort of people who will eventually get impatient with each other's dithering and bullshit and call them on it, which is why I feel comfortable showing them being all missed-cues and agonizing, because eventually I know they'll have it out - all that's just buildup to the release, like foreplay, and b) Spike's dickish qualities mesh well with Buffy's own bitchier side, so they're really on very even ground. One of the reasons I ended up doing the two versions of this scene is because I wanted to get at something in Buffy's mind, as per the scene here - that she really doesn't want to compete with Spike on a who-loves-more basis, doesn't want their relationship built around I-die-for-you. Because she doesn't want that anymore. Either of them to die.

And I dig the exegesis on Jacqueline the Giant Killer.

Hee! That was really one of the initial images of the story - Spike telling that tale, Buffy reacting to it.

[drakontaskyria.livejournal.com]

Yep. That's our two kids. Needing their heads smacked together. *g* Well, they're communicating a little at least. Maybe things will improve?

And I could so see the Jacqueline becoming Jack scenario. Couldn't have a girl save folks, could you? Horrors!

I am so liking this story.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Thanks you! And things will improve, definitely, as in my noodling comment to herself_nyc, above. Their communication is a thing of resolution-through-conflict, always, so this part... yeah. This is the conflict. : )

Couldn't have a girl save folks, could you? Horrors!

The old fairy tales really were a bit one-sided on that front. I sort of prefer the Xena version of history, in which the larger-than-life women were there, even if we don't hear about them.

[drakontaskyria.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I much preferred Xena's version of Helen of Troy. She went off to find her own destiny instead of returning to Menelaus. Of course, some of the tales say she later killed him. Some guys just don't know when to quit. *g*

[kcarolj65.livejournal.com]

Gorgeous, as ever. Buffy and Spike cutting to the bone of what they are to each other, makes the ogre seem not so much of a threat by comparison. They, their relationship is what's important here, where the real battle's being fought, between what they surmise about each other (sometimes mistakenly) and what truly is.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

You've discovered my hidden agenda! Hee.

Thank you!

[kathyh]

She could never quite put those two things together, no matter how hard she tried--her admiration and awe for those feelings, the kind of love that he liked to display, my life for you, and her anger at having to deal with it.

Oh, that rings so true. I can see how from Buffy's pov Spike's utter devotion must at times be hard to deal with. Loving this story.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

It's hard, definitely. Because what do you do after something like that? How can you possibly feel like you can live up to it?

Thanks!

[bluekaty.livejournal.com]

Great fic, brilliant dialogue. Waiting for more.
I don't want to miss anything of this so I friended you, hope it's OK :)

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Of course it's okay; welcome, friend! And thank you!

[missus-grace.livejournal.com]

If they're to engage in a battle of wits I'm glad Spike will be there to back up Buffy!

Although she is very clever to notice that something is amiss.

Good update!

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

I think Buffy is a lot cleverer than she's often given credit for. In this case, she's the one noticing what's happening now while Spike is the one with the background info.

Thank you!

[owenthurman.livejournal.com]

Who killed J.R.? Oh, that's how it could have happened. Hmm.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Actually, you're thinking of Patrick Duffy in the shower, right? That's a different story. But you can probably tell that I liked that trick. ; ) Hee.

[adriana-is.livejournal.com]

YAY! You updated! I just love your fics!

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Yay! I'm glad. Thank you! : )

[alexpallex.livejournal.com]

Yay! More Spuffy goodness! I'm loving this story, and of course Spuffy can't be to fluffy *angry mumble* *giggles*

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Well... it can, just not right then. Because I'm bad that way.

Later, I promise. : )

[spikes_heart.livejournal.com]

Enjoying this to pieces. *smiles*

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[thisbrightworld.livejournal.com]

Hi there! This is just wonderful reading. I'm friending you to keep up - hope you don't mind.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

I don't mind at all, thank you! And welcome, friend! : )

[st_salieri.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for the late reply. I'm so behind on everything.

This is wonderful. You really have a great knack for the Spike/Buffy talk, and I'm not sure I have a good way to describe it. Nevertheless, it rang true. I can't wait to read more!

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Well, since I'm even later replying to you, I wouldn't worry about that. ; )

Thanks so much for this - I have terrible struggles sometimes trying to decide whether or not a conversation sounds true, or I'm just getting carried away writing dialogue, so it's helpful to hear when it's working.

[basilio-the-cat.livejournal.com]

great chapter

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[wickedgillie.livejournal.com]

So glad I finally had the time to come read chapters 3 & 4. I am so behind on my fic reading.

The dynamic you've created is so delicious and so true to what we've seen of B/S in canon. Not to mention, I am adoring the giant snark. It's so utterly Whedonesque.

Can I say I half expected mama giant to start nursing baby giant on the spot?

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

I am so behind on my replies, it's not even funny. And I'm bad too in not delivering the ending yet, argh!

Thanks for all the kind words on the giant! It's true that she was totally designed to be a Whedeonesque-style monster, with a very modern attitude, whether that makes sense or not. : )

Can I say I half expected mama giant to start nursing baby giant on the spot?

Heh! I'll admit to having considered it briefly. But I couldn't quite decide on our heroes' reaction.

[myfeetshowit.livejournal.com]

Sorry it took me so long to get back to this--RL is so jealous of my online time.

Another great chapter, and I'm eagerly awaiting the gigantic climax!

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Don't be sorry - RL's been getting in my way seriously over the last few weeks too, so I'm certainly no one to talk. Forgive me for taking so long in getting around to the big finale!

And thank you!

[cindergal.livejournal.com]

Look, I finally caught up! You have a gift for dialogue which I really enjoy reading, and of course all the relationship-y stuff that this crisis is bringing up for them is so my cuppa. You're making me want to kiss Spike and hit him at the same time, so I can really relate to Buffy, here. :-) Bravo.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

I'm finally catching up to comments, whew!

Thanks so much - I love nothing better than hitting exactly the emotion you're describing of being frustated with the poor darlings while still rooting for them to work it out. Hopefully, in the end I'll be able to pay all this off, and make it work.