(no subject)

[thedeadlyhook]

Taking a break from the WIP - amazing, to even be able to write those words, although it really has been eating at my brain lately - for an update on real life. My endless unemployment summer is finally reaching closure, as Toys and I discussed finances and decided one or both of us needs to start thinking about new jobs. So back to my old place of employment go I, to pick up some more freelance as a stopgap, after which I guess I polish the resume. I'm still giving some thought to going back to school - I may be too old to be a useful academic, as much of the academic process strikes me as so much blowing of the hot air to exact specifications, like the required forms in a figure skating match (although maybe that's changed since I was in school, dunno), but returning to art school seems a better possibility. When I was in it originally, I had to worry about being self-supporting pretty much immediately, so steered my education into the vocation most likely to be employable (photography), and indeed, I supported myself for years on it, doing technical and lab work. But if I went back now, in an artistic capacity? Not really sure what I could do, or would do. Getting kinda curious to find out.

TV just played that Victoria's Secret ad for their "Angels" line, which always makes me think, what, like, they're underwear models in heaven?, which then just reminded me that today marks the second time I've seen a someone's-passed-away post on my friends' list. And In both cases, I've ended up going to that person's journal and reading through the posts, generally marveling at the phenomenon of LiveJournal that allows you to do that, step right into someone's innermost thoughts and mourn a person that maybe you never even knew. And the feeling too, the one that always hits me when hearing about a death, of world-altering strangeness, that a person could just be there one moment, and not there the next. This is particularly vivid on LJ, when you can read the previous entries, see the ambitions and creations and dreams and plans. It seems... impossible, somehow, that all of those could be gone, just like that.

And this is why, ultimately, I think people need religion - to explain those things, even if only a little bit. To logic it into some shape that makes the mystery even slightly less terrifying.

Watching Smallville right now. Feels funny to not be having Angel there in the lineup, but I've surprised myself with how much I'm looking forward to the Smallville season premiere. And we just got our Angel Season 4 box, so looking forward to a next revisit of the whole wonderful Jasmine arc there.

Have various new thoughts about Buffy Seasons 6-7, thanks to the WIP - god, I knew somehow that signing up for that Spuffyficathon would bear fruit! - but can't quite pull them together right now. theohara had put up a link in her journal to an earlier version of the "Chosen" script I hadn't seen before, and I had a whole spin of epiphanies coming off of that, plus recent revisits of the seasons by various people on my flist - it's coming together now, much sharper in my head. And it only took what, three years?

Comments

[asta77.livejournal.com]

I didn't know you were an artist! I went to art school myself and studied fine arts - painting and drawing mostly. What am I doing now? I work in an accounting department at a law firm. :p I am trying to get back into the artistic field, if for no other reason, I could use some extra cash. Good luck in whatever you decide, I know how difficult this decisions can be.

[tesla321.livejournal.com]

You poor dear. Flee. Flee.

Actually, I am the accounting department, and word processor, and
runner, for my law firm, which consists of me and a shared receptionist.

It started out so innocently, one moment I was a legal secretary, then I was a paralegal, then suddenly I was in law school at 32, thinking, huh? How'd this happen?

[asta77.livejournal.com]

huh? How'd this happen?

Yep, I often think that myslef. Especially recently when I've had the urge to flee. I'm 32 now and starting to wonder what I *really* want to be doing with the rest of my life. I'm thinking not what I'm doing now.

Loooove your icon btw. ;-)

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Well, I did photography for something like five years, then ended up working on a magazine as a writer/editor, because I lost my lab job and had friends who were working there. Ten years later, now I'm back to figuring out what to do again. I even had a period, back in the photo years, of being sort of a personal assistant - lesson learned from that one, I can do organized, but I don't enjoy doing it, especially not if it entails catering to someone's moody moods. (And then I ended up, a decade later, subjecting other people to my moody moods, so I guess it's all poetic justice in the end.)

Thanks for the luck - I'm not so much worried about the money aspect, because I know I can pick up piecework, but it's been years since I had to do without an all-consuming passion, and I feel the need to find a new one to strive toward.

[tesla321.livejournal.com]

That reminds me, dude. Since I don't really expect the cats to post to LJ, and none of my local friends are into it, you can always check DecaturDaily online to see if I've come to a messy end.

And of course, Starlet2367 and Sweptawaybayou and I actually talk! On the cell!

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Stop that. Like I'm not already biting my nails when you keep talking about making these five-hour drives.