The Weather's Nice Again, Finally

[thedeadlyhook]

Quick fly-by. First up, Happy Birthday bogwitch! Second, fic recs. I've been sucked in hopelessly by WIPs recently - anaross's fic in general and Gail pointed me to The Bear's story Prophecy and Warmth on Buffy/Spike Central. I have to admit that despite the no doubt great collecction of stories there, I haven't made a habit of checking that sight because the burgandy letters on pink background format is such a strain on my eyes... and yet, I plowed through 29 chapters of this story, with the laptop held up near my face to read in some cases, because yes, it's that riveting. Reminds me of something I think fer1213 said recently, about st_salieri's recent fics (also wonderful - for god's sake, please go check them out), that reading through a really good post-series fic that hits you just so makes you get insecure and start rethinking your own work... and yet, there are practically infinite possibilties, aren't there? I had this urge last week to try to categorize the variations of post-series B/S that I've seen, that all feel equally valid in their own way - fics in which Spike starts his own journey separate from Buffy, such as paratti's Samson and the Broken Dolls, fics where Buffy and Spike get back together after a period of struggle, such as fer1213's Third Chances, or totally alt-universe futures such as herself_nyc's Bittersweets or A Nice Place to Visit. I've probably pimped db2305's Take Heart before, but if I haven't, I so should have - alt-Season 4 Buffy/Spike, super-kinky and wonderfully weird and horrific and funny all at once, and originally written for meee, so you know I love it! I'm probably forgetting a whole raft of great stories that deserve pushing, but I'm finding even that thought heartening somehow - that there's really that much more out there to be discovered.

Guess that wasn't such a fast fly-by post, huh?

buffyx is running a Spuffy Kinkathon. C'mon, everybody. You know you want to.

Comments

[st_salieri.livejournal.com]

although, come to think of it, why-the-hell-not?

Hee. Nothing wrong with a little of that. "You're awesome!" "No, you're awesome!" Everybody wins. :) It's so funny how these insecurities work.

Here's a question - do you think the reason for all this feeling, the I-could-never-write-something-that-good is a case of how many possiblities are left open, like anything could happen and I chose this but why didn't I choose that? - or just a thing where you as the writer see the flaws in your own stuff more clearly?

I think it's probably a bit of both. I know exactly what you mean, though. I'm definitely more aware of my flaws when I read other people, and they're able to describe so effortlessly what I struggle over. Myself, I've been worrying that my narrative voice is too abstract and removed, so when I read the rest of you guys I tend to notice the strengths where I myself am weak. It's normal to do that, I think. And I cringe, because sometimes what I read seems to simple and meaningful, and I never would have thought of writing it that way.

And so I guess that kicking ourselves over missed choices extends both to plotting and to actual writing style. I think I tend to obsess over the style more, because that's where I'm most aware of my weaknesses. When it's dealing with the openness of the story itself, and the almost infinite possibility for various plots...well, I think I find that inspiring more than anything else. Although sometimes I'll read something where the writer interpreted a canon scene differently than I did and worked from there, and that can sometimes lead to me kicking myself and asking myself why I didn't see it that way.

Gah. Clarity is not my strong suit this morning, that's for sure. But I can't tell you how glad I am to hear your concerns, because there's always a part of me that compares myself to other writers and is convinced that I'm really not any good, no matter how many nice comments I get. I think this is something I learned to deal with in grad school -- I spent the better part of six years thinking I was really an idiot and no one had found me out yet. :)