Writercon kerfuffle

[thedeadlyhook]

Um... you know, just out of curiosity. Was there some kind of "hey, post your Writercon report directly to the writercon LJ" update that I just missed? Because I only seem to remember one about posting your links to your con remembrances. Yet now there are TWO reports posted directly in the journal, because apparently, being a straight guy who attended the con and has feelings to air somehow rates as special. Excuse me, but... wtf? [ETA: the second post is actually very sweet, and a helpful antidote to the wankery original.]

I didn't touch the original post when I first saw it. The tone absolutely screamed attention-seeker - OMG, everyone look at meeeee - so I figured, best not to give him that attention. In hindsight, though, I'm glad a lot of other people did, since the posts I've seen since then, irfikos in particular, here and here, and so many others in the original thread, have been so to-the-point and thoughtful and well-considered that hell, yes, sometimes there IS a real reason to get into a kerfuffle, and keep it going.

Crying oppression when things don't go your way is a popular tactic nowdays - in politics, especially - but it's a crybaby's tactic, wahh, I didn't get what I want, it's not all about me. Why isn't it all about me? Why aren't you all looking at me, debating about me, taking my feelings into consideration? The unvoiced part of it is always the same too, why should I have to consider your feelings? What gives you the right to think any of this is about you? You're weird and I'm not.

Yes, that's worth kerfuffling about. Grrrrr.

Comments

[st_salieri.livejournal.com]

Yet now there are TWO reports posted directly in the journal, because apparently, being a straight guy who attended the con and has feelings to air somehow rates as special.

Hee hee. At least this second report is much more positive, so it doesn't bother me. Maybe he felt like he needed to show that not all straight guys in fandom are raving assholes. (Although a link to his personal lj would probably have sufficed.)

And yes, I agree on the oppression thing, and that this is something that's worth raising a stink about.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I agree the second guy's post came off more like an apology for the first guy, but I would never have thought to group the two together if he hadn't posted. I don't think anyone had made that assumption, that all non-slash fan straight guys are dicks, and that he felt the need to pipe up on the subject all kinda comes off like a weird expression of solidarity with other guys, even if his actual post refutes it totally. Even the title of his post kinda bugged me, the way it emphasizes how he and the other men there were rare, special flowers. Grumble, grumble...

Obviously, I'm oversensitive to this sort of thing, though. I did like that he ended his post on a "you guys rock" note that was nicely gender -free.

[nwhepcat.livejournal.com]

Oh, bastardsnow is a sweetheart. I remember meeting him at the last Writercon and thinking he was one of the few men there who weren't utterly terrified by all us wimmin. I think he's on the Not!Dicks Represent! committee.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

In hindsight, yeah, he does come across as very sweet. His post is really quite clear about distancing himself from the dickish ideas that started the whole kerfuffle, so I hold him no ill will. I think I just had a knee-jerk reaction on seeing his post because it reminded me of the kind of thing I've seen happen in other fandoms, as per the conversation about DC Comics fandom in that Fanthropology panel - guys who suddenly appear to claim that they're not the ones othering you, although somehow it all ends up adding up to you being othered. There's this whole weird dynamic about majority views in fandom that shifts so seriously depending on where you hang out - I still can't wrap my head around what that original guy was hoping to get out of Writercon. He seems to have wanted to start trouble.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't mind people posting their reports in the WriterCon community. The community is for WriterCon discussion, after all, and anyway, not everyone will remember to go back and check that thread from a few days ago where people are posting links.

The second guy seems cool, and I got the impression he was just following the pattern set by the previous poster, moreso than thinking he's special because he's male. So I didn't have a problem with his post.

But the first guy ... GRRR. I'm glad that people are responding, because, yeah, the jerk was probably just screeching for attention, but at the same time, I'm glad that WriterCon is a community that stands up and defends itself, instead of just letting homophobia sit there in its community without comment. It would've made me uncomfortable to be in a community where that kind of bigotry doesn't get slapped down, you know? Regardless of whether the guy ever changes his mind, at least it generated some important discussion, and made it clear that this community won't quietly tolerate homophobia.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that WriterCon is a community that stands up and defends itself, instead of just letting homophobia sit there in its community without comment.

Yes, definitely. That's been the great thing to come out of this, at least. I'd only seen the first comment, harmonyfb's, until I went back later, and thought she'd laid it all out quite clearly, that this sort of thing is not cool.

And yeah, clearly I'm oversensitized to male clubbery - the first guy definitely suffered from entitlement issues, bu the second guy didn't seem to have that problem, thankfully, and seemed okay - but I couldn't help but bristle at the "all these women and then me" framing. Like, dude, what's your point? I should give you a cookie for not being an asshole? Guess so. (Rahr, there's my angry feminist moment - I mean, the guy's nice, but so was just about everybody else I talked to, you know, and I'm not feeling pressured to make a big deal out of how not all women are jerks.)

But I hope that more people - as in maybe a few female people this time - will follow up by posting their own con reports to the community. It would be cool to have them all in one place.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Like, dude, what's your point? I should give you a cookie for not being an asshole? Guess so. (Rahr, there's my angry feminist moment - I mean, the guy's nice, but so was just about everybody else I talked to, you know, and I'm not feeling pressured to make a big deal out of how not all women are jerks.)

I get what you're saying, and I think you're partly right. I guess there is a sort of privilege in the idea that he should be applauded simply for being male and not being an asshole. But I also think it was useful for him to point out that 1) not all straight men are bigots, and 2) WriterCon was not actually hostile to straight men; the first guy's complaints really stemmed from his own homophobia and not from the way he was treated.

Or something. I'm probably reading too much into it.

By the way, I really loved seeing you at the con. I'm so glad we had a chance to talk for a while, and I wish we'd talked longer. You're one of the people I missed saying goodbye to--it was over so fast, and it felt like I was at the airport before I could even catch my breath! (Next time I am so staying until Monday and not leaving at 3:30am Sunday night, btw).

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Ouch, 3:30! That totally explains why I didn't catch you with the Monday morning exodus - I had a late flight that day, so I got to hang out in the lobby with the last of the attendees as we all trickled out. I wish you could've been there too - it was a really fun conversation.

I was really glad to see you too - there wasn't anywhere near enough time to hang as much as I would've liked, especially after that Fanthropology panel, which brought up all sorts of neat issues, and when I went through my pictures, I was kicking myself for not getting more of you and irfikos, especially of those great outfits you had at the dance. (Oh, and I still have SF pictures to send you, mostly of the aquarium.)

But.. yeah, guy wasn't a heel, I probably should be giving him a cookie for at least standing up and saying yo, I'm a guy who's not like this and don't share these views, and that he at least didn't feel oppressed, because that's not an easy position to take either. Sometimes, I really need to curb the hothead within. (This is why I don't do message boards - if I just let my gut reaction fly a lot of the time, I'd really be in trouble.)

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

(catching up on old comments)

Man, I wish I'd stayed later on Monday. Very silly of me to go to work that day! I definitely wanted to hang around longer and participate in more of the interesting discussions.

I'd love to see the photos, if you have them around. (Heh, I've just got that horrid one of us before we got on the boat! Eternal memories. ;)

[toysdream.livejournal.com]

Like, dude, what's your point? I should give you a cookie for not being an asshole?

See, sometimes I figure that the sentence "As a straight man..." is best ended with the phrase "I shall now shut teh fuck up for a change." (Especially when you're a straight white man like yours truly.)

[jwaneeta.livejournal.com]

"As a straight man..." is best ended with the phrase "I shall now shut teh fuck up for a change."


Haw! :D That gave me the lols.

[danceswithwords.livejournal.com]

*sigh* It does seem that by posting that in the con community, the person in question was seeking to maximize the number of people who would read about his alleged impression. I wonder if he got the kind of attention he was looking for.

I'm hanging out in the fringes of Stargate fandom, which is overwhelmingly slashy (at least the parts I've somehow fallen in with), and slash isn't something that interests me much. There is a huge difference between having tastes that are in the minority and feeling oppressed, and a lot of that has to do with whether or not you're inclined to see it as a battle with a right and a wrong side. Because when it's not a battle and you're not a victim, you can actually have interesting conversations with people who see the show differently than you do and discover that you all love the show and the characters and that that's a lot huger than the differences. But that would require acknowledgment that there's more than one way to see something, and that yours isn't the ultimate truth, and that's apparently beyond this guy.

[thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com]

Word. And I know what you mean on the Stargate front too - that long conversation I had with the Rodney/Sheppard 'shipper helped me to remember that while I don't really see it myself, to a lot of people that's the main reason for watching the show, so who's to say canon doesn't support it? If it didn't at least on some level, would so many people see it? Interpretation is a wonderful, malleable thing.

I do wonder about Mr. Kerfuffle, and whether or not he was being deliberately provacative. From the cursory evidence, I'd say yes - the demonstrative walking out at panels, the public post, the carefully cultivated "reasonable" tone. It feels like he was hoping for furious responses that he could point to and use as evidence that slashers are crazy and/or irrational, but that's so not what he got. In general, I've been amazed at how even-handed the responses have been for such an inflammatory topic.