thedeadlyhook: (Default)
[personal profile] thedeadlyhook
I'm doing this in pieces, because I know that at least that way, I'll get it done.

This is a horrifically late entry to [livejournal.com profile] eurydice72's William Ficathon. It's for [livejournal.com profile] herself_nyc, who requested "anything, with Buffy if possible, not fluffy," only to avoid "Victorian details you're not sure of." I struggled some time with my original plot bunny which was a sort of Victorian-era snapshot of William's life, combined with a little germ of an idea that I've always had about Spike, and therefore William - that he just might have had a little bit of Drusilla's talent himself, that ability to "see" things - that hopefully would have added up to a very weird and dreamlike like piece, with Buffy appearing as a sort of phantom, or Ghost of Christmas Future, if you will. It was all very much The Others... that is, until I realized it was also sort of a variant on The Grudge, and that just seemed too meta for words. Plus the amount of research needed got rather daunting. but my period William story ended up turning into more of a modern Spike story with a twist... and then it just snowballed on its own, as my stories are wont to do. I'm somewhat cheating to start with Spike and not William, but weirdly enough, this is actually my first story ever written in Spike's POV.

So anyway, off and running with a short intro for now, more to come later. Set rather loosely somewhere later in my own unfinished WIP, Does It Have to Mean Something?, a sort of minor AU from the events there, post-"Not Fade Away." There's pretty much nothing you need to know from that story, though, other than Spike needs help with getting a spell removed. (And please, forgive the boring title.)

__________


In what distant deeps or skies.
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand, dare seize the fire?

William Blake, The Tyger



The Center



London. It's been some time since he's seen it. His old stomping ground.

Not that he's avoided the place, over the years. Just the opposite. London was a good city for vampires, with its miles of tunnels in the Underground and club scenes filled with thrill-seekers. A demon could live almost openly here, riding the Tube during the day, lurking in corners, watching for drunken patrons staggering home just after pub closing, that perfect hour when the whole city seemed ready to fall into a vampire's arms.

But that was back in the days when Drusilla had been his one bright and shining star, the black center of his universe. Funny to think of it now, that he'd torn apart vengeful demon hunters and civilians alike to save her from the Prague mobs, but in trying to put her back together, like Humpty Dumpty, he'd lost himself instead. And then found himself again, sort of, but that's another story.

In general, he hasn't proven to be very good at putting things back together.

He's here because of the spell. Angel's bloody spell. There's a coven he needs to talk to, here in England, about removing it. Odds are good they won't help him--they're human for starters, and Wicca-preaching, moon-worshipping Earth magic Gaia types on top of it. He'd seen plenty of that sort before he and Dru left England for the last time, went to parties filled with New Age crystal-wearers boasting about Chalice Well viewings and moonlit climbs to the top of Glastonbury Tor. Dru loved those folk, with their incense and Hindu idols and vegan brownies, thanks to some sense of humor only she really understood. Goes without saying, though, that they tended to see vampires as something of a bit against the natural order.

Still, it's worth doing. Talking to the coven. He'll give it go, to keep everyone confused if nothing else. Broadcast a note of desperation.

He rides the Tube to get there. The meeting spot, in Bloomsbury. No idea why the coven chose that place unless it's to try to get to him, psychologically. If that's it, obviously they're wasting their time. Sure, it's a corner of the city that hasn't seen his shadow in better than a hundred years, but he's come to terms with that since, his need to leave his human life behind. He'd been confused and heartsick, that last fateful night he'd torn out of the front door of his family house. Left his own mother behind as ashes in the fire grate, and for years and years after that his one goal was to erase that feeling, that despair. Drown it under, choke it to death, find something in all his experience that would prove things different, reclaim himself from what his mother the demon had said him to be. Something that proved that he was more.

Well, he's found it since, hasn't he? Took the long way around, maybe, but things worked out in the end, sort of.

Walking past the old familiar Georgian circle isn't really something he wants to do, but he does it anyway, just to send the old ghosts packing. Just to prove he can, and that it doesn't mean anything to him, not anymore. Surprise, surprise--the old house is still there. Converted to a tourist hotel, like most of the other houses in the circle, with a glowing sign over its door. It had been a stylish townhouse once, the strolling park across the way a popular promenade for older ladies and servants with perambulators.

He stands on the sidewalk and stares. Doesn't really want to, but can't help it. He was human in this place. A child who ran sticks along fences, pulled flowers and got his hands slapped for it. A young man who tipped his hat to the ladies. And no, he most certainly does not have an impulse to go inside and see his childhood room, wonder at the endless stream of backpackers that must have marched through it, German couples and Japanese teenagers and nubile Swedish lesbians. No effin' thank you.

He pushes on. To the British Museum, the plaza out front where he and the witch are supposed to meet. Lots of people still thronging the area, even after dark, thanks to the short winter nights. It occurs to him that's probably why she chose the place, the comfort of crowds. So much for trust.

The witch is not at all hard to find in the crowd. She's a Mexican wedding cake of lace and crepe, a concert-goer on her way to see Stevie Nicks. Be sure to wear flowers in your hair, like the song says--white hippie magic pours off her in waves. To her credit, she doesn't seem to have any problem with spotting him either, watches him cross the flagstones with a face contorted in distaste. No doubt setting off her "unnatural" warning bells like a carillon. Well, too bad for her.

They exchange some words. None of them very polite. She makes him go over in detail exactly what he wants, although it's obvious that she already knows--he explained all that to the coven's leader back in Paris. She's putting him through his paces for fun, because he's a demon and nothing she likes, and it's possible that in response he says something rude.

But he doesn't realize how far he's pushed it, her already snotty short temper, until she extends a finger, and then there's a shock to his head that's way too familiar, his whole mind exploding into gray-black light. And he stumbles away, reeling, the witch's voice ringing in his ears... or maybe it's just in his mind, because he's blocks away, feet slamming the pavement and still he can hear her.

"You chase the impossible," she cackles, and the sound rings and rings and rings.

"You ask to be free. You never will be."

TBC

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 12:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jenjojen.livejournal.com
Hmmm...very interesting. I'm liking it. I'm really eager to see where this goes.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 01:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Hee! I'm glad. I'm usually not this mysterious with opening chapters.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 01:24 pm (UTC)
herself_nyc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] herself_nyc
Oooooooh. Great start. MORE!!!!! :: bangs spoon on highchair tray ::

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 01:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Working on Chatper 2 right now. It's more exposition, so going quite fast. And there's a Knight Rider marathon on the telly in the background, of all things, to give me inspiration.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 01:58 pm (UTC)
herself_nyc: (Believe Spike by crackers4jenn)
From: [personal profile] herself_nyc
Knight Rider? I'm not even gonna ask.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 01:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Sci-Fi Channel marathon. They did Night Stalker last week, so I guess they're just on a nostalgia kick. It seemed fortuitous background.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 03:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magista.livejournal.com
Or just on the whole 'ode to homynyms' kick...

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 03:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
D'oh! I can't believe I didn't catch that.

Wonder if they'll do Forever Knight then, next? I love that show.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 04:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magista.livejournal.com
Next up, a BtVS/FK crossover... or not.

I just happened to read the titles out loud in my head. It's an effect of italicized print, I think. How freakish and odd...

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 05:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Ooh, crossover. Do it, do it! (devil bouncing on your shoulder)

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 05:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magista.livejournal.com
Stop that! You're messing up my posture!

At least bounce on me about finishing my Buffy/Hellboy crossover first. That one's more than two years old, now...

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 05:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
(moves to other shoulder)

Hellboy! Buffy! Chluthlu monsters in space! Big devil-horned stony guy with a big gun! A fish man! With Buffy! Woo! (bounce! bounce!)

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 01:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shipperx.livejournal.com
Great start. Poor Spike. What kind of mess has he landed himself in this time?

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 01:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
All shall shortly be made clear. (evil laughter)

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 01:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] timeofchange.livejournal.com
Wonderful start.

>>"You chase the impossible," she cackles, and the sound rings and rings and rings. >>

This sentence is great. Relentless and doom-filled.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 01:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Oh, there's doom coming, yep, yep. Thank you!

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 01:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bogwitch.livejournal.com
Interesting, very interesting.

I like the Chalice Well.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 01:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
I thought The Chalice Well was quite fun too. Toys and I visited this summer. But for some reason it amused me to think of Spike and Dru hanging out with people who go to such peaceful places, the irony in that. It's about the last place I can picture vampires going.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 02:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bogwitch.livejournal.com
The White Spring is a bit dingy, but I'd think vampire's are pretty much urban creatures. Not much food about in the wilds of Somerset.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 02:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Too true. I was thinking of house parties they could go to, Drusilla all dolled up in crystals, and pretending to enjoy drinking tea. For some reason, I can really imagine Dru being fascinated by those who revere the mystical, since she's a visionary herself. Maybe as an extension of the kind of interest in the divine that drove her to eventually become a nun...

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bogwitch.livejournal.com
I think Dru would fit in nicely - until she ate someone.

I always felt she became a nun to assuage her guilt about having those powers. I think she thought they'd save her.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
This is nifty. I'd just put in the little reference about Dru because I felt it sounded "right," but you're helping figure out why I thought so.

I always figured the reason she became a nun, as well as guilt over her powers, was because she thought it might save her from Angelus, that god could protect her. Of course god doesn't protect her, just as Angelus told her, and she becomes the "devil child" he predicted. So I think in my internal Dru picture, I can see her preying on the faithful the same way she does children, as sort of an affirmation of the spiritual lesson she learned from Angel... she definitely seems to gravitate toward despoiling the innocent and the pure.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-25 10:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bogwitch.livejournal.com
You have a point there and I agree with all that. I can't say I've spent much time thinking out her motivations.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-25 11:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Neither had I, actually. It just occured to me as we were talking.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 02:24 pm (UTC)
ext_7259: (Default)
From: [identity profile] moscow-watcher.livejournal.com
Intriguing. Hopefully you'll update soon.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 02:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Later today. Cross my heart.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 02:38 pm (UTC)
kathyh: I made this (Kathyh English)
From: [personal profile] kathyh
reclaim himself from what his mother the demon had said him to be. Something that proved that he was more.

Poor Spike, always tormented by women. This is fascinating already. Great start.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 02:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Thanks. I can't say more just yet, but defnitely a little theme there.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 02:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jwaneeta.livejournal.com
She's putting him through his paces for fun, because he's a demon and nothing she likes, and it's possible that in response he says something rude.

Oh, excellent. I dig it already, because the thing that gets the ball rolling is a recognizable character trait of Spike's -- the smart mouth, the tendancy to let his yap run away with him. Neat!

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 02:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
He just honestly can't help it, can he?

Thanks! More coming soon, promise.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 03:12 pm (UTC)
lynnenne: (love you by nihilistbear)
From: [personal profile] lynnenne
*sigh* I love your writing style. Great descriptions, good pacing, and a strong Spike voice, especially considering it's your first time writing from his POV. Very nicely done.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 05:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Thanks so much! You're not going to get too much more of Spikes' voice from here on in, but I'm absolutely relieved if it's working.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 03:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] red-sunflower.livejournal.com
I really like the way you describe the atmosphere. Is easy to picture it. And of course, good start, got me hooked.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 05:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm going great guns on this one - I'm hoping to get another chatper up tonight.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 03:50 pm (UTC)
ext_7351: (S/B misery loves company)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_jems_/
Intriguing beginning. And I saw you already put up chapter 2. *rushes off to read*

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm working on chapter 3 even as we speak.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 03:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magista.livejournal.com
...the black center of his universe
Lovely. And even astronomically correct. Hee.

In general, he hasn't proven to be very good at putting things back together.
That's our Spike, never one to shy away from the truth. It's what I love best about him.

Left his own mother behind as ashes in the fire grate, and for years and years after that his one goal was to erase that feeling, that despair. Drown it under, choke it to death, find something in all his experience that would prove things different, reclaim himself from what his mother the demon had said him to be.
Oh yes. How incredible that the flashbacks of FFL and LMPTM could do so much after the fact to explain his character and behaviour throughout all the seasons. His love for Dru, as if to prove there was more to him than just the demon. If Joss hadn't had that in mind all along and cued all the writers on how to portray him then it's even more amazing. And you've picked the exact sparkling treasure of truth out of all of those moments. And love the image of ashes in the fire grate.

And no, he most certainly does not have an impulse to go inside and see his childhood room, wonder at the endless stream of backpackers that must have marched through it, German couples and Japanese teenagers and nubile Swedish lesbians. No effin' thank you.
I can hear him fighting himself on that topic, desperately wanting some connection to the past and yet afraid of what he might find there, or how it's been lost. It's the same reason I haven't gone past our family house since it was sold - I don't want to know what's been done to it.

No doubt setting off her "unnatural" warning bells like a carillon.
Another wonderful image, this time an auditory one.

...and it's possible that in response he says something rude.
And isn't that just our boy, in the end - mouth engaged before brain is in gear...

I bow down before your prolific prowess...

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 05:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
How incredible that the flashbacks of FFL and LMPTM could do so much after the fact to explain his character and behaviour throughout all the seasons.

I personally tend to assign more meaning to FFL than LMPTM, because I do have some issues with the continuing "mother" joke, but since it's canon, I feel the need to try to deal with it. It's my thing.

I can hear him fighting himself on that topic, desperately wanting some connection to the past and yet afraid of what he might find there, or how it's been lost. It's the same reason I haven't gone past our family house since it was sold - I don't want to know what's been done to it.

I was quite hesitant about that including that image, actually, even though on some levels it was the whole inspiration for the story, Spike's relationship with his past. He strikes me as someone who doesn't think about his history very hard most of the time, or tries not to, but as above, with the repeating "mother" joke, and in episodes like "Sleeper" and "Damage," you can see him trying to come to terms with it, force himself to look at what he doesn't want to.

Prolific... I dunno about that. I'm only getting this much done today because Toys is out of town. But thank you. : )

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 07:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magista.livejournal.com
Prolific... I dunno about that.

Riiiiiight. You started when and you have how many stories and WIPs? LOL

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magista.livejournal.com
Gah. Not to mention quality from the get-go.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 07:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Um... have you read my really early stories on the StakeMe site? I'm like the picture of sturm und drang...

... but I thank you, regardless. You shameless flatterer, you. : )

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-24 07:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magista.livejournal.com
There's no room for shame in this busines...

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-26 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lillianmorgan.livejournal.com
You recreate London nicely; on the one hand very recognisable, on the other there's a mystery to it. Wonderful to see it through a vampire's eyes too :)
Bloomsbury! LOL! Please tell me Viriginia Woolf's family was his next door neighbours?
She's a Mexican wedding cake of lace and crepe, a concert-goer on her way to see Stevie Nicks.
That sentence was wonderful!

(no subject)

Date: 2005-01-27 08:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Thanks so much!

The Bloomsbury locale was suggested by our visit last summer - there's a particular place I have in mind for the family house, but I have no idea if it's anywhere near Viriginia Woolf's place. At least, I didn't notice any plaques or anything where we were.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-02-07 09:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beanbeans.livejournal.com
Oooh, wonderful start here. I love the image of him as a boy, being naughty and getting knuckles slapped by Mum, him as a young man, delicate and well-mannered. And now scoffing at the tourists going by his old home. What a richly layered backdrop for your setting.

Heh, leave it to Spike to much up his one chance to get rid of the spell. Spike and his smart-ass, mouthy ways. How I love him. ;)

The last two lines made me go, "Eeep!" Can't wait to read on!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-02-09 03:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
Hee! I'm so tickled that you're commeting on this as you read through. It's a real treat for me to get new reactions to this story. I have this real tendency to start stories with a single image or scene and just see where they go, and Spike smart-mouthing the witch was actually the kickoff inspiration for this one.

I also did a sort of commentary post after the end of this fic, where I explained a couple of the locations and other trivia that went into my image of William - you can find it here (http://thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com/91847.html).

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